IT'S IN THE BIBLE
There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her very, very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read as it helped relax her on the long flights.
One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.
After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"
The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."
He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"
She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."
He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"
The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."
"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.
"Then you can ask him," replied the lady.
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KIDS SAY THE DARN'DEST THINGS
A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.
The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."
The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."
Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied,. . . . "They will in a minute."
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I am qualified to share this joke because I was raised Baptist =oP
SHOW AND TELL
A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent their religion.
The first boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is the Star of David."
The second boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm am Catholic and this is the Crucifix."
The third boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."
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Meet someone new in church on Sunday!
Have a great weekend!
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All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
You Got Your Ear Pierced?
Ear piercing is a way of showing individuality and a level of "coolness". Teen and adult men walk around with silver studs, onyx studs. . . and the celebrity rappers wear a huge diamond stud. You may know someone who is going through a mid-life crisis and they get their ear pierced to show a level of youth and being hip.
Whatever the reason for getting your ear pierced. . . rebellion. . . "coolness". . . or self-expression. Let me share with you a document from around 1400 B.C. In the book of Exodus, it shares why ear piercing was performed.
"But if the servant declares, 'I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,' then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life." Exodus 21: 5-6 (NIV)
"Awl: a pointed tool for marking surfaces or piercing small holes."
Pretty cool! When a servant truly loved his master and wanted to serve him for life, he would get his ear pierced. Publicly letting everyone know he freely wants to live the rest of his life serving his master.
Hmmm, ear piercing... the new Christian revolution?! =0)
><>
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
Whatever the reason for getting your ear pierced. . . rebellion. . . "coolness". . . or self-expression. Let me share with you a document from around 1400 B.C. In the book of Exodus, it shares why ear piercing was performed.
"But if the servant declares, 'I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,' then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life." Exodus 21: 5-6 (NIV)
"Awl: a pointed tool for marking surfaces or piercing small holes."
Pretty cool! When a servant truly loved his master and wanted to serve him for life, he would get his ear pierced. Publicly letting everyone know he freely wants to live the rest of his life serving his master.
Hmmm, ear piercing... the new Christian revolution?! =0)
><>
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
Monday, October 27, 2008
Season of Change
"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." Romans 1:20 (NLT)
This weekend we met with some friends and headed over to a small, rustic town with great gift shops and food! What a joy it is to be with good friends! We really took in God's beautiful creation. Enjoying the crisp, cold breeze and seeing the leaves changing color.
It made me think about how God's impressions are all around us.
I think of the beauty of the fall season. Leaves changing from green to orange, red, yellow and brown. It's a glorious sight to see these trees illuminate in such array of colors! The sad part of fall- creation dies and goes into hybernation. This reminds me that winter is around the corner.
God's impression: Snow. It covers the ugly- it covers the dead. There are many references of Christ and His blood being represented as snow. He covers our filth, our dead selves with His blood.
This weekend we met with some friends and headed over to a small, rustic town with great gift shops and food! What a joy it is to be with good friends! We really took in God's beautiful creation. Enjoying the crisp, cold breeze and seeing the leaves changing color.
It made me think about how God's impressions are all around us.
I think of the beauty of the fall season. Leaves changing from green to orange, red, yellow and brown. It's a glorious sight to see these trees illuminate in such array of colors! The sad part of fall- creation dies and goes into hybernation. This reminds me that winter is around the corner.
God's impression: Snow. It covers the ugly- it covers the dead. There are many references of Christ and His blood being represented as snow. He covers our filth, our dead selves with His blood.
Isaiah 1:18 says, "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." (NIV)
Maybe your season has been filled with ugly habits. Your season has been full of regrets, turmoil, and heartache. Let the snow fall! Allow Christ's blood to cover your filth - your deadly sins. He will wash you and cleanse you- making you white as snow.
Your way isn't working. Everything around you seems to be falling apart- you are slowly dying inside. Jesus is giving you a chance to have a fresh, new start. Pin all your trust on Him and give your dying self over to Him and He will transform your life- your very soul.
Will you pray this prayer today?
"Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin." Psalm 51:2 (NIV)
Here is Jesus' promise to you!
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 (NIV)
><>
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Funny Humor For Friday
THINGS A PASTOR NEVER HEARS IN CHURCH
* Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
* I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
* I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
* Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
* I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
* Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
* Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A FEW WORDS
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU KNOW YOUR A MOM WHEN:
1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicle become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her after you suck the dirt off of it because your too busy to wash it off.
11. Your kids make jokes about farting, burping, pooping, etc., and you think it's funny.
12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, Not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.
16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice krispie bars.
Have a Great Weekend!
Just a reminder: Church is on Sunday =0)
><>
Want to see more "Funny Humor for Friday"? Click on "Labels" below for volumes 2-9.
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
* Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
* I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
* I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
* Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
* I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
* Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
* Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!
----------------------------------------------------------------------
A FEW WORDS
Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."
The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."
The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"
----------------------------------------------------------------------
YOU KNOW YOUR A MOM WHEN:
1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicle become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her after you suck the dirt off of it because your too busy to wash it off.
11. Your kids make jokes about farting, burping, pooping, etc., and you think it's funny.
12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, Not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.
16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice krispie bars.
Have a Great Weekend!
Just a reminder: Church is on Sunday =0)
><>
Want to see more "Funny Humor for Friday"? Click on "Labels" below for volumes 2-9.
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
No one Loves You Like He Does
Jesus loves you more than the universe. He loves you so much that He gave up His life for you!
Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (NIV)
What is ransom? Webster defines it as "a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity."
You are being held hostage. You are a prisoner of sin. Sin is a term used to describe our thoughts and actions being an offense against God. Greed... lying... adultery... cheating... stealing... manipulating; these are just a few of the offenses (sins) we commit against God on a daily basis.
The Romans Road to recovery:
The Bible says in Romans 3:23, "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of His glory." Glory, the perfect splendor and beauty of God. None of us alone can be have a relationship with God, because perfection and sin do not mix.
On our own, no amount of great works or deeds will allow us into heaven or a relationship with our God. It says in scripture that the wage, the debt for our sin is DEATH. . .
The Bible continues to say in Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
There is a gift from God- His only son, Jesus.
You see, God is telling you, no matter how good we try to live our lives, no matter how much we give to people or good causes, it's not enough. Giving to non-profit organizations, churches, schools, feeding the hungry. . . these are all great and wonderful things and it can change our world, but it will not buy your way into a relationship with God. It's not the key to open the gates of heaven.
There is only one Key into heaven and that's believing in Jesus, the only Son of God. Believing He loves you so much that He died on the cross for you- rescuing you from your filth. You must first realize you cannot do it on your own. Good works won't get you there. Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"
Let's go back to that word ransom. Jesus came to pay the price, the ransom, that has kept you separated from God. Through Jesus' brutal death He became the substitute to take our hell and to pay our penalty- to cleanse us of our sins.
How do I have a deep relationship with God?
How do I secure a place in heaven?
Romans 10:9-10, "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." (NIV)
"Lord, I've been doing my life my way, and I've sinned. I know that I have hurt you. My only hope of being forgiven - of ever getting to heaven, is You. I'm pinning all my trust on You, Lord Jesus, beginning right now."
Jesus has gone the distance- He came from heaven to earth- and ultimately, stretched out His arms on the cross to reach out to you with His incredible love. Don't make life's biggest mistake.
Give your sins, your bad habits over to Jesus. Let Him cleanse you and transform your heart and mind- your very soul. Experience forgiveness today. . . and start a new life with Him!
* If you have some hard life questions that needs to be answered, please go to the "Answers to Life's Tough Questions" section of our blog.
><>
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (NIV)
What is ransom? Webster defines it as "a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity."
You are being held hostage. You are a prisoner of sin. Sin is a term used to describe our thoughts and actions being an offense against God. Greed... lying... adultery... cheating... stealing... manipulating; these are just a few of the offenses (sins) we commit against God on a daily basis.
The Romans Road to recovery:
The Bible says in Romans 3:23, "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of His glory." Glory, the perfect splendor and beauty of God. None of us alone can be have a relationship with God, because perfection and sin do not mix.
On our own, no amount of great works or deeds will allow us into heaven or a relationship with our God. It says in scripture that the wage, the debt for our sin is DEATH. . .
The Bible continues to say in Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."
There is a gift from God- His only son, Jesus.
You see, God is telling you, no matter how good we try to live our lives, no matter how much we give to people or good causes, it's not enough. Giving to non-profit organizations, churches, schools, feeding the hungry. . . these are all great and wonderful things and it can change our world, but it will not buy your way into a relationship with God. It's not the key to open the gates of heaven.
There is only one Key into heaven and that's believing in Jesus, the only Son of God. Believing He loves you so much that He died on the cross for you- rescuing you from your filth. You must first realize you cannot do it on your own. Good works won't get you there. Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"
Let's go back to that word ransom. Jesus came to pay the price, the ransom, that has kept you separated from God. Through Jesus' brutal death He became the substitute to take our hell and to pay our penalty- to cleanse us of our sins.
How do I have a deep relationship with God?
How do I secure a place in heaven?
Romans 10:9-10, "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." (NIV)
"Lord, I've been doing my life my way, and I've sinned. I know that I have hurt you. My only hope of being forgiven - of ever getting to heaven, is You. I'm pinning all my trust on You, Lord Jesus, beginning right now."
Jesus has gone the distance- He came from heaven to earth- and ultimately, stretched out His arms on the cross to reach out to you with His incredible love. Don't make life's biggest mistake.
Give your sins, your bad habits over to Jesus. Let Him cleanse you and transform your heart and mind- your very soul. Experience forgiveness today. . . and start a new life with Him!
* If you have some hard life questions that needs to be answered, please go to the "Answers to Life's Tough Questions" section of our blog.
><>
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
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