This post is touching on one facet- "Exclusive, Passionate Love." The fact that somewhere along the way, men start to get too comfortable- taking for granted what your wife does on a daily basis. She was once looked at as a blessing, now she looked at as 'expectation'. The gratitude is gone.
I remember when my wife first tried her hand in the kitchen. She didn't have a mom that taught her how to cook. She worked hard and tried new things. I remember thinking, "She is trying so hard to make a special meal for me." She was expressing her love in a tangible way. I remember making a big fuss at how good the food was (which it was and still is!) and being so thankful for her loving hands making dinner for me... and now our kids. Somewhere along the way, I stopped being so thankful. I mean, our family would bless the food, scarf it down like wolves and give an empty, traditional "thank you" to my wife after we were done eating.
Doesn't she deserve more? Doesn't God want us to always remember how much time and love she puts in to our lives?
Not just in meals, but in other areas of her life, I need to be specific in how I thank her. "Honey, the pork chops came out so tender- they're great!" "Honey, thank you for always doing the loads and loads of never-ending laundry. I appreciate you doing that for me and the kids."
Ephesians 5:25-28: "Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church—a love marked by giving, not getting. Christ's love makes the church whole. His words evoke her beauty. Everything he does and says is designed to bring the best out of her, dressing her in dazzling white silk, radiant with holiness. And that is how husbands ought to love their wives. They're really doing themselves a favor—since they're already "one" in marriage." (The Message)
My wife, just like a little girl who dances around in her pretty dress, is saying, "Look at me. I want to be noticed. See how lovely I am."
I was losing my wife to the fact that I stopped noticing. I stopped pursuing her. I stopped loving her the way I did when we were dating.
- The 5 second gaze and smile across the room to let her know I love her.
- Long conversations where I would just listen and not give her advice... just listen to her frustrations.
- To give her non-sexual touches. Kiss on the cheek. Reassuring hugs. Cuddling her on the couch or in bed.
- Coming home with flowers or leaving a special thank you card on the table.
- Tickling and laughing together.
If you don't continue to captivate your wife one of two things will happen:
1.) A long, empty life together. You will co-exist, but as Dr. Gary Chapman says, "Your love tanks will be empty."
2.) There will be bitterness, then resentment towards each other. Eventually, you will end in separation or divorce.
All I am saying is, as men there can be preventative medicine. The medicine is "Exclusive, passionate love." Growing and maturing together doesn't mean "child-like" passion or romance needs to fade away.
I would challenge any husband. If you started to do these things, you will find your wife coming back to you. Eventually, you will find her attitude and response towards you changing. The both of you will have a more secure love for each other. You will find her happier and wanting to do more for you, because you notice her- she feels loved and appreciated.
Mr. Webster(dictionary) defines the word 'Passion' as: intense, driving, or overmastering feeling or conviction. From Latin pati; TO SUFFER.
Do you have intensified, driven love for your wife? Are you overwhelmed with emotion for your lover? Like Christ pursuing us with reckless abandon, we are told as husbands to do the same. Express your love with such conviction. Dazzle her with your words. Love her with such intensity that you will guard her and your marriage with your life- your whole being.
Pati; TO SUFFER. This means even when we don't feel like loving her or you don't think she deserves this kind of love- do it anyways! Fight for her. Bring her back to a place where there is Love and Respect in your marriage. Love her like no other and she will see a man worth respecting.
It's your calling by God to do "Whatever it takes"! The Passion of Christ has been to love us so greatly, to the point of emotionally and physically suffering on the cross. We don't deserve His love and many still reject Him and call Him names, but Jesus did it anyways! He took on brutality and pain-- ultimately, sacrificing His life because He loved us so deeply.
"Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ."
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