Friday, October 31, 2008

Funny Humor for Friday II


There was a religious lady that had to do a lot of traveling for her business, so she did a lot of flying. Flying made her very, very nervous, so she always took her Bible along with her to read as it helped relax her on the long flights.

One time, she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out her Bible, he gave a little chuckle and smirk and went back to what he was doing.

After awhile, he turned to her and asked, "You don't really believe all that stuff in there do you?"

The lady replied, "Of course I do. It is the Bible."

He said, "Well, what about that guy that was swallowed by that whale?"

She replied, "Oh, Jonah. Yes, I believe that, it is in the Bible."

He asked, "Well, how do you suppose he survived all that time inside the whale?"

The lady said, "Well, I don't really know. I guess when I get to heaven, I will ask him."

"What if he isn't in heaven?" the man asked sarcastically.

"Then you can ask him," replied the lady.


A kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they drew.
She would occasionally walk around to see each child's artwork. As she came to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was.

The girl replied, "I'm drawing God."

The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like."

Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing the girl replied,. . . . "They will in a minute."

I am qualified to share this joke because I was raised Baptist =oP


A kindergarten teacher gave her class a "show and tell" assignment of bringing something to represent their religion.

The first boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Benjamin and I am Jewish and this is the Star of David."

The second boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Mary. I'm am Catholic and this is the Crucifix."

The third boy got in front of the class and said, "My name is Tommy and I am Baptist and this is a casserole."

Meet someone new in church on Sunday!

Have a great weekend!


All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

You Got Your Ear Pierced?

Ear piercing is a way of showing individuality and a level of "coolness". Teen and adult men walk around with silver studs, onyx studs. . . and the celebrity rappers wear a huge diamond stud. You may know someone who is going through a mid-life crisis and they get their ear pierced to show a level of youth and being hip.

Whatever the reason for getting your ear pierced. . . rebellion. . . "coolness". . . or self-expression. Let me share with you a document from around 1400 B.C. In the book of Exodus, it shares why ear piercing was performed.

"But if the servant declares, 'I love my master and my wife and children and do not want to go free,' then his master must take him before the judges. He shall take him to the door or the doorpost and pierce his ear with an awl. Then he will be his servant for life." Exodus 21: 5-6 (NIV)

"Awl: a pointed tool for marking surfaces or piercing small holes."

Pretty cool! When a servant truly loved his master and wanted to serve him for life, he would get his ear pierced. Publicly letting everyone know he freely wants to live the rest of his life serving his master.

Hmmm, ear piercing... the new Christian revolution?! =0)


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Monday, October 27, 2008

Season of Change

"For ever since the world was created, people have seen the earth and sky. Through everything God made, they can clearly see His invisible qualities—His eternal power and divine nature. So they have no excuse for not knowing God." Romans 1:20 (NLT)

This weekend we met with some friends and headed over to a small, rustic town with great gift shops and food! What a joy it is to be with good friends! We really took in God's beautiful creation. Enjoying the crisp, cold breeze and seeing the leaves changing color.

It made me think about how God's impressions are all around us.

I think of the beauty of the fall season. Leaves changing from green to orange, red, yellow and brown. It's a glorious sight to see these trees illuminate in such array of colors! The sad part of fall- creation dies and goes into hybernation. This reminds me that winter is around the corner.

God's impression: Snow. It covers the ugly- it covers the dead. There are many references of Christ and His blood being represented as snow. He covers our filth, our dead selves with His blood.

Isaiah 1:18 says, "Come now, let us reason together," says the LORD. "Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow; though they are red as crimson, they shall be like wool." (NIV)

Maybe your season has been filled with ugly habits. Your season has been full of regrets, turmoil, and heartache. Let the snow fall! Allow Christ's blood to cover your filth - your deadly sins. He will wash you and cleanse you- making you white as snow.

Your way isn't working. Everything around you seems to be falling apart- you are slowly dying inside. Jesus is giving you a chance to have a fresh, new start. Pin all your trust on Him and give your dying self over to Him and He will transform your life- your very soul.

Will you pray this prayer today?
"Wash away all my iniquity and cleanse me from my sin." Psalm 51:2 (NIV)

Here is Jesus' promise to you!
"If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." 1 John 1:9 (NIV)


All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Friday, October 24, 2008

Funny Humor For Friday

* Hey! It's my turn to sit in the front pew.
* I was so enthralled, I never noticed your sermon went 25 minutes over time.
* I love it when we sing hymns I've never heard before!
* Personally I find witnessing much more enjoyable than golf.
* I volunteer to be the permanent teacher for the Junior High Sunday School class.
* Pastor, we'd like to send you to this Bible seminar in the Bahamas.
* Nothing inspires me and strengthens my commitment like our annual stewardship campaign!

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging about their fathers. The first boy says, "My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a poem, they give him $50."

The second boy says, "That's nothing. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a song, they give him $100."

The third boy says, "I got you both beat. My Dad scribbles a few words on a piece of paper, he calls it a sermon and it takes eight people to collect all the money!"

1. Your feet stick to the kitchen floor.....and you don't care.
2. When the kids are fighting, you threaten to lock them in a room together and not let them out until someone's bleeding.
3. You can't find your cordless phone, so you ask a friend to call you, and you run around the house madly, following the sound until you locate the phone downstairs in the laundry basket.
4. You spend an entire week wearing sweats.
5. Your idea of a good day is making it through without a child leaking bodily fluids on you.
6. Popsicle become a food staple.
7. Your favorite television show is a cartoon.
8. Peanut butter and jelly is eaten at least in one meal a day.
9. You're willing to kiss your child's boo-boo, regardless of what body part it happens to be on.
10. Your baby's pacifier falls on the floor and you give it back to her after you suck the dirt off of it because your too busy to wash it off.
11. Your kids make jokes about farting, burping, pooping, etc., and you think it's funny.
12. You're so desperate for adult conversation that you spill your guts to the telemarketer that calls and HE hangs up on YOU!
13. Spit is your number one cleaning agent.
14. You're up each night until 10 PM vacuuming, dusting, wiping, washing, drying, loading, unloading, shopping, cooking, driving, flushing, ironing, sweeping, picking up, changing sheets, changing diapers, bathing, helping with homework, paying bills, budgeting, clipping coupons, folding clothes, putting to bed, dragging out of bed, brushing, chasing, buckling, feeding (them, Not you), PLUS swinging, playing baseball, bike riding, pushing trucks, cuddling dolls, rollerblading, basketball, football, catch, bubbles, sprinklers, slides, nature walks, coloring, crafts, jumping rope, PLUS raking, trimming, planting, edging, mowing, gardening, painting, and walking the dog. You get up at 5:30 AM and you have no time to eat, sleep, drink or go to the bathroom, and yet ... you still managed to gain 10 pounds.
15. In your bathroom there is toothpaste on the light fixtures, water all over the floor, a dog drinking out of the toilet and body hair forming a union to protest unsafe working conditions.
16. You buy cereal with marshmallows in it.
17. The closest you get to gourmet cooking is making rice krispie bars.

Have a Great Weekend!

Just a reminder: Church is on Sunday =0)


Want to see more "Funny Humor for Friday"?  Click on "Labels" below for volumes 2-9.

All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

No one Loves You Like He Does

Jesus loves you more than the universe. He loves you so much that He gave up His life for you!

Mark 10:45 says, "For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." (NIV)

What is ransom? Webster defines it as "a consideration paid or demanded for the release of someone or something from captivity."

You are being held hostage. You are a prisoner of sin. Sin is a term used to describe our thoughts and actions being an offense against God. Greed... lying... adultery... cheating... stealing... manipulating; these are just a few of the offenses (sins) we commit against God on a daily basis.

The Romans Road to recovery:

The Bible says in Romans 3:23, "For ALL have sinned and fallen short of His glory." Glory, the perfect splendor and beauty of God. None of us alone can be have a relationship with God, because perfection and sin do not mix.

On our own, no amount of great works or deeds will allow us into heaven or a relationship with our God. It says in scripture that the wage, the debt for our sin is DEATH. . .

The Bible continues to say in Romans 6:23, "For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord."

There is a gift from God- His only son, Jesus.

You see, God is telling you, no matter how good we try to live our lives, no matter how much we give to people or good causes, it's not enough. Giving to non-profit organizations, churches, schools, feeding the hungry. . . these are all great and wonderful things and it can change our world, but it will not buy your way into a relationship with God. It's not the key to open the gates of heaven.

There is only one Key into heaven and that's believing in Jesus, the only Son of God. Believing He loves you so much that He died on the cross for you- rescuing you from your filth. You must first realize you cannot do it on your own. Good works won't get you there. Jesus says, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me"

Let's go back to that word ransom. Jesus came to pay the price, the ransom, that has kept you separated from God. Through Jesus' brutal death He became the substitute to take our hell and to pay our penalty- to cleanse us of our sins.

How do I have a deep relationship with God?
How do I secure a place in heaven?

Romans 10:9-10, "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved. For it is with your heart that you believe and are justified, and it is with your mouth that you confess and are saved." (NIV)

"Lord, I've been doing my life my way, and I've sinned. I know that I have hurt you. My only hope of being forgiven - of ever getting to heaven, is You. I'm pinning all my trust on You, Lord Jesus, beginning right now."

Jesus has gone the distance- He came from heaven to earth- and ultimately, stretched out His arms on the cross to reach out to you with His incredible love. Don't make life's biggest mistake.

Give your sins, your bad habits over to Jesus. Let Him cleanse you and transform your heart and mind- your very soul. Experience forgiveness today. . . and start a new life with Him!

* If you have some hard life questions that needs to be answered, please go to the "Answers to Life's Tough Questions" section of our blog.


All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Being Attacked From All Sides

"All day long my enemies taunt me; those who rail against me use my name as a curse." Psalm 102:8 (NIV)

Old friends gossiping about you. Family members who thrive on cutting you down. Ex's looking to bash you and your character. How do you handle being attacked from all sides?

What should we do? Should we do anything at all?

As much hurt and anger there is towards your enemy, it isn't good to repay bad with bad. Remember the old saying, "If you don't have anything nice to say, then don't say it at all"?

You are saying, "But I feel attacked. . . betrayed . . . I feel wronged!" You feel wronged, and it's your right to tell them off. This will only add fuel to the fire. It will make your world even more unbearable.

The Bible says, "Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else." 1 Thess. 5:15 (NIV)

Then, when do I confront them?
There are times where seasons need to pass by before ever confronting those who have hurt you. Wait on God to open a door of opportunity to intelligently and wisely talk to your offender. Asking God to cover you with truth and love. . . not out of personal hurt and anger. Time and forgiveness heals wounds, not playing their game by degrading one another.
Matthew 5:43-44 says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you"

Release your emotional turmoil to God. Ask Him to build you up with His promises and love. Just because someone calls you a name or falsely accuses you of something, it doesn't make it true.

I have come to realize your true friends and loved ones will ask you what is going on. They have your best interest in mind and want to know how they can help stop the pain. If they don't contact you and they are in the midst of the gossip- then you need to question if they have your best interest in mind.

It's okay to cut yourself off from these people for a time. Pray for forgiveness and restoration. If they still do not want to rebuild a relationship with you, then it is better to cut ties and surround yourself around those who will build you up and help you grow in the Lord.

Here is a powerful tool for you to use. It's the exact same song David sang out to God in praise. Remember King Saul had a bounty out on David. There were soldiers hunting him down to kill him. David ran and was in hiding.

Psalm 18
"For the director of music. Of David the servant of the LORD. He sang to the LORD the words of this song when the LORD delivered him from the hand of all his enemies and from the hand of Saul. He said:

1 I love you, O LORD, my strength.
2 The LORD is my rock, my fortress and my deliverer;

my God is my rock, in whom I take refuge.
He is my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold.
3 I call to the LORD, who is worthy of praise,

and I am saved from my enemies."
- Psalm 18:1-3 (NIV)

Cry out to God in celebration and adoration-- and He will carry you through.


Monday, October 13, 2008

"The Voice of Adventure"

"The LORD is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear?" Psalm 27:1

In my morning quiet time with God I read this exerpt from Max Lucado's He Still Moves Stones:

"Jesus says the options are clear. On one side there is the voice of safety. You can build a fire in the hearth, stay inside, and stay warm and dry for what you don't try, right? You can't fall if you don't take a stand, right? You can't lose your balance if you never climb, right? So don't try it. Take the safe route.

Or you can hear the voice of adventure- God's adventure. Instead of building a fire in your hearth, build a fire in your heart. Follow God's impulses. Adopt the child. Move overseas. Teach the class. Change careers. Run for office. Make a difference. Sure it isn't safe, but what is?"

God's voice tells us to be humble. . .wise in our decisions. . .pray until you receive an answer.

What if God is telling you to Make A Difference- to take a risk for His name's sake?

The gentle Shepard who leads our lives is also labeled as the Lion of Judah. Jesus took risks- He fought for God and for us. God calls us to take risks, to put ourselves in "risky" situations in order to fulfill God's purpose. We can't go through life feeling safe.

God is saying, "GO!" Our love for God needs to be an action word. Love needs to be expressed- it needs to be shared with others.

Yes, it's scary to take risks. It's the blindness of our future that holds us back. It's fear itself- the fear of not being good enough, the fear of our finances, the fear that we will fail at trying.

I have news for you. If God tells you to "GO!" and it is God's plan for your life. Don't you think He will carry you through?

Read God's promise for your life:
"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

There are blessings waiting for you. Don't miss out on the adventure and treasures God has for you, because you were being too safe.

Go M.A.D. for God Today! (Make A Difference!)


All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Friday, October 10, 2008


We are excited to announce our new blog features here on Heart Like Jesus!

On the right column, you will notice 3 new additions:
1.) There is a "Worship Today" section where you will hear new Worship music playing when you come and visit us.

2.) Start your mornings focused by visiting the "Daily Bible Verse" section. Be inspired and challenged from God's word.

3.) Need encouragement? Do you have days where you need some inspiration? Then visit our "Christian Quotes: Past and Present" section. Quotes from C.S. Lewis, Charles Spurgeon, Martin Luther, St. Augustine, and many more.


=> We have updated our "Spiritual Video Food" feed. Check out the new videos and sermons!

=> Please go and search the bottom of our blog. You will find "HLJ Worship Center". This section has been absolutely re-faced. I think it's pretty cool stuff and very user friendly. This is a compilation of some of the top Christian Artists and their songs. Go, listen, and praise God through worship!

THANK YOU for following us and checking out our posts!


All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Wednesday, October 8, 2008

FUN TRIVIA - Poll Results

FUN TRIVIA: How Tall was Goliath?

0% - 7 Feet
25% - 8 Feet
75% - Over 9 Feet

1 Samuel 17:4 "And there went out a champion out of the camp of the Philistines, named Goliath, of Gath, whose height was six cubits and a span." (KJV)

1 Cubit = 18 inches
6 Cubits = 108 inches => 9 Feet

Christian Scholars have argued that a span is half the measurement of a Cubit, so Goliath would have been 9 Feet, 9 Inches Tall!


All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

"Fascinating Love Facts"

The other day I came across some love statistics on MSN. I thought this article was intriguing and interesting... and down right silly. I pulled some of the more "PG" rated statistics for your enjoyment. =)

"25 Fascinating Love Facts"
Exerpt By Laura Schaefer - MSN Dating

"Love is mysterious, fascinating, and when you find it with the right person, there's nothing better. . .
Love is a many-splendored thing … and a very surprising thing, too. As if you needed proof of that, here are 25 funny little facts about love. Study them, scratch your head over them, and share them with someone you fancy.

* Men who kiss their wives in the morning live five years longer than those who don't.

*People are more likely to tilt their heads to the right when kissing instead of the left (65 percent of people go to the right!)

* Feminist women are more likely than other females to be in a romantic relationship.

* Two-thirds of people report that they fall in love with someone they've known for some time vs. someone that they just met.

* There's a reason why office romances occur: The single biggest predictor of love is proximity.

* Falling in love can induce a calming effect on the body and mind and raises levels of nerve growth factor for about a year, which helps to restore the nervous system and improves the lover's memory.

* Love can also exert the same stress on your body as deep fear. You see the same physiological responses — pupil dilation, sweaty palms, and increased heart rate.

* Brain scans show that people who view photos of a beloved experience an activation of the caudate — the part of the brain involving cravings.

* The women of the Tiwi tribe in the South Pacific are married at birth.

* The "Love Detector" service from Korean cell phone operator KTF uses technology that is supposed to analyze voice patterns to see if a lover is speaking honestly and with affection. Users later receive an analysis of the conversation delivered through text message that breaks down the amount of affection, surprise, concentration and honesty of the other speaker.
* Eleven percent of women have gone online and done research on a person they were dating or were about to meet, versus seven percent of men.

* Couples' personalities converge over time to make partners more and more similar.

* The oldest known love song was written 4,000 years ago and comes from an area between the Tigris and Euphrates Rivers.

* The tradition of the diamond engagement ring comes from Archduke Maximillian of Austria who, in the 15th century, gave a diamond ring to his fiancée, Mary of Burgundy.

* Forty-three percent of women prefer their partners never sign "love" to a card unless they are ready for commitment.

* People who are newly in love produce decreased levels of the hormone serotonin — as low as levels seen in people with obsessive-compulsive disorder. Perhaps that's why it's so easy to feel obsessed when you're smitten.

* Philadelphia International Airport finished as the No. 1 best airport for making a love connection, according to an online survey.

* According to mathematical theory, we should date a dozen people before choosing a long-term partner; that provides the best chance that you'll make a love match.

* Every Valentine's Day, Verona, the Italian city where Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet took place, receives around 1,000 letters addressed to Juliet.

* When we get dumped, for a period of time we love the person who rejected us even more, says Dr. Helen Fisher of Rutgers University and author of Why We Love. The brain regions that lit up when we were in a happy union continue to be active.

* People telling the story of how they fell in love overwhelmingly believe the process is out of their control.

* Familiarity breeds comfort and closeness … and romance.

* One in five long-term love relationships began with one or both partners being involved with others.

* OK, this one may not surprise you, but we had to share it: Having a romantic relationship makes both genders happier. The stronger the commitment, the greater the happiness!"

As simple or as complex- as crazy or as normal - as silly or as real-- Love is a wonderful thing!


Thursday, October 2, 2008

Four Friends & Faith

This is a great story about four friends who didn't give up... before the four branches of US Military were invented, they believed in "Leaving no man behind."

Four friends who were the legs and strength for their paralytic buddy. There were obstacles in the way. There were crowds of people literally busting out of the house. His friends were desperate for him to be healed by Jesus. They did whatever it took to bring him to Jesus.

When was the last time you helped a friend? A friend in need of your strength, your commitment, and your love.

Mark 2, starting at verse 1: "When Jesus entered Capernaum, the people heard that He had come home. So many gathered that there was no room left, even outside the door, and He preached the word to them. Some men came, bringing to Him a paralytic, carried by four of them. Since they could not get him to Jesus because of the crowd, they made an opening in the roof above Jesus and, after digging through it, lowered the mat the paralyzed man was lying on." (NIV)

Can you imagine? Their determination was so strong- they were not going to let anything get in the way of their crippled friend and Jesus... not even a structure like a roof! They tore away at the shingles and they dug through the plaster. I am sure there were particles, dust, and pieces falling right beside Jesus. Jesus must have looked up and saw this pathetic man being lowered down from the ceiling.

That must have been a strange event then... and it would be a strange event now. Could you imagine sitting in church with people packed out to the brim of the church walls, and all of a sudden plaster, dust, and particles start to fall from the ceiling? Suddenly, you hear commotion with a visual of a man being lowered down from the ceiling in the middle of the service? What a humorous and alarming sight that would be!

Jesus knew these four were interceding for their friend. Jesus saw their faith and determination- and because of that, Jesus forgave and healed their crippled friend.

"We need to get him to Jesus- no matter the cost!"

When was the last time you interceded for a friend who was down? Who was spiritually crippled? A friend who lost the means of strength and determination and you interceded for him. Maybe there is a buddy or a loved one who needs you to carry him/her to the one true Hope- The one true Healer.

The true story goes on to say:
"When Jesus saw their faith, He said to the paralytic, 'Son, your sins are forgiven' ... He said to the paralytic, 'Get up, take your mat and go home.' He got up, took his mat and walked out in full view of them all. This amazed everyone and they praised God, saying, "We have never seen anything like this!" (NIV)

Is there a friend in your life right now that is saying, "I need Jesus. I want His healing on my life, but I don't have the strength to get there. There are too many obstacles... pains... regrets to get to Him by myself. Can you carry me? Can you help me to reach my Savior and Healer- Jesus Christ?"

Here was a man whose only hope was Jesus. There were all these people and obstacles between him and Jesus. His friends could have turned away, and this man would have never experienced the healing and the forgiving touch of Jesus Christ.

They didn't let the hindrances stop them. The man got to Jesus, no matter what it took, and he was healed. Be an ambassador for Jesus today. Represent Him by saying to your friend or loved one, "It's a hard road- but I will carry you. When we get there- I want to experience Christ's healing power and forgiveness with you."

Love at all cost. Love with reckless abandon and not even a building can stop you from entering into His presence.


"I'm falling apart, I'm barely breathing
with a broken heart that's still beating
In the pain there is healing
In your name I find meaning
So I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on,
I'm holdin' on
I'm barely holdin' on to you" - LIFEHOUSE