Friday, January 23, 2009

Funny Humor for Friday V

Dedicated to my good friend who loves Post-its!
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Dollar Bill

There were two old dollar bills. One was a $100 dollar bill and the other was a $1 dollar bill. The $100 dollar bill said, "I've lived a good life. I've been to the amusement park, the theater, the zoo and baseball games."

"Wow," said the $1 dollar bill. "You sure have had a good life."

"Where have you been?" asked the $100 dollar bill.

"Oh, I've been to a Baptist church, a Methodist church, a Lutheran church and an Episcopal church."

The $100 bill said, "What's a church?"

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Christian One Liners

Prayer
God answers Knee-Mail.

The Boss
Under the same management for over 2000 years.

Insomnia Cure
If you can't sleep, try counting your blessings.

Nutrition
The best vitamin for a Christian is B1.

Yummy
Try our Sundays. They're better than Baskin-Robbin's.

Cosmetic Surgery
Come in and have your faith lifted.

Seating Arrangements
Where will you be seated in eternity? Smoking or non-smoking?

Tithing
Give God what's right -- not what's left.

Which Way?
Man's way leads to a hopeless end -- God's way leads to an endless hope.

Two Ears
Since God gave us two ears and one mouth, He must have wanted us to do twice as much listening as talking.

Stand
If you don't stand for something, you will fall for anything.

Anger
The person who angers you, controls you!

Flying
If God is your Copilot - you're in the wrong seat!

Unconditional Love
Yes, God loves us all, but He favors "fruits of the spirit" over "religious nuts!"

Forbidden Fruit
A forbidden fruit will create many jams.

Greatness
You can tell how great a person is by what it takes to discourage him.

Best Formula
1 cross + 3 nails = 4 given. (Love it!)


Problems
The problem ahead of us is never as great as the Power behind us.

Peace
Peace starts with a smile.

Benefits
Working for God does not pay much, but His retirement plan is out of this world.
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I hope this puts a smile on your face and a chuckle in your belly!
Have a wonderful weekend.

A reminder: Church is this Sunday =)

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2 comments:

conarnold said...

Thanks for sharing a chuckle today! There's some good advice in those one liners!

JW said...

HEHEHE, I DO LOVE MY POST-ITS!! :-P