Letters to a Pastor . . .
Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Age 11, Anderson.
Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven
Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly,Annette. Age 9, Albany
Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland.Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma
Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh
Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena
Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Signs Your Pastor Is Watching To Many Westerns. . .
* His sermon on Revelation is titled "Showdown at High Noon."
* At the end of the service, he replaces altar call with "roundup."
* Refers to the Deacons Meetings as "a campfire chat."
* Keeps referring to "brothers" as Hoss and Little Joe.
* Walks into the pulpit with a hearty, "Hi-Yo Silver"
* Always refers to his Bible as "My Six-Shooter."
*Forces ushers to tie bandanas around their faces and pass around ten-gallon cowboy hats instead of offering plates.
* When performing a wedding, he begins the ceremony with, "Howdy Pardners."
* Constantly threatens to preach well past "High Noon."
* He insists on being addressed as "Reverend Duke."
* Refers to the next churchwide fellowship dinner as "gathering around the chuckwagon."
* His new three-week sermon series: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
* Asks for the song "Rawhide" to be sung as a call to worship.
* He keeps mumbling two words: "Holy Chaps!"
* His sermon on Revelation is titled "Showdown at High Noon."
* At the end of the service, he replaces altar call with "roundup."
* Refers to the Deacons Meetings as "a campfire chat."
* Keeps referring to "brothers" as Hoss and Little Joe.
* Walks into the pulpit with a hearty, "Hi-Yo Silver"
* Always refers to his Bible as "My Six-Shooter."
*Forces ushers to tie bandanas around their faces and pass around ten-gallon cowboy hats instead of offering plates.
* When performing a wedding, he begins the ceremony with, "Howdy Pardners."
* Constantly threatens to preach well past "High Noon."
* He insists on being addressed as "Reverend Duke."
* Refers to the next churchwide fellowship dinner as "gathering around the chuckwagon."
* His new three-week sermon series: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
* Asks for the song "Rawhide" to be sung as a call to worship.
* He keeps mumbling two words: "Holy Chaps!"
Courtesy of crosswalk.com
><>
All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.
No comments:
Post a Comment