Friday, April 24, 2009

Funny Humor for Friday VIIII

Letters to a Pastor . . .

Dear Pastor, I know God loves everybody but He never met my sister. Yours sincerely, Arnold. Age 8, Nashville.

Dear Pastor, My father should be a minister. Every day he gives us a sermon about something. Robert, Age 11, Anderson.

Dear Pastor, I'm sorry I can't leave more money in the plate, but my father didn't give me a raise in my allowance. Could you have a sermon about a raise in my allowance? Love, Patty. Age 10, New Haven

Dear Pastor, My mother is very religious. She goes to play bingo at church every week even if she has a cold. Yours truly,Annette. Age 9, Albany

Dear Pastor, I think a lot more people would come to your church if you moved it to Disneyland.Loreen. Age 9. Tacoma

Dear Pastor, Please say a prayer for our Little League team. We need God's help or a new pitcher. Thank you. Alexander. Age 10, Raleigh

Dear Pastor, My father says I should learn the Ten Commandments. But I don't think I want to because we have enough rules already in my house.Joshua. Age 10, South Pasadena

Dear Pastor, I liked your sermon on Sunday. Especially when it was finished. Ralph, Age 11, Akron

Signs Your Pastor Is Watching To Many Westerns. . .

* His sermon on Revelation is titled "Showdown at High Noon."
* At the end of the service, he replaces altar call with "roundup."
* Refers to the Deacons Meetings as "a campfire chat."
* Keeps referring to "brothers" as Hoss and Little Joe.
* Walks into the pulpit with a hearty, "Hi-Yo Silver"
* Always refers to his Bible as "My Six-Shooter."
*Forces ushers to tie bandanas around their faces and pass around ten-gallon cowboy hats instead of offering plates.
* When performing a wedding, he begins the ceremony with, "Howdy Pardners."
* Constantly threatens to preach well past "High Noon."
* He insists on being addressed as "Reverend Duke."
* Refers to the next churchwide fellowship dinner as "gathering around the chuckwagon."
* His new three-week sermon series: "The Good, the Bad and the Ugly."
* Asks for the song "Rawhide" to be sung as a call to worship.
* He keeps mumbling two words: "Holy Chaps!"

Courtesy of

All posts are the sole property of the Heart Like Jesus blog. You must obtain permission to use any of the information on this blog.

No comments: