"Chick-fil-A" - Tim Hawkins

What do you get when you cross a Christian comedian
and Chick-fil-A?
A very funny song!

Tim Hawkins - Christian comedian.
Chick-fil-A - Truett Cathy, Christian founder and President.

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Prayer Request: Wife's Surgery

3-27-09 9:55PM

Praise God, for He is good! My wife's surgery was about 40-45 minutes long. The surgeon was able to remove all of the mass. Her recovery is going well. Thank you for all the prayers!

Dear Friends,

Can you please pray for my wife. She will be having surgery this Friday, March 27th A.M.

The doctors found a mass on her side that needs to be removed. It's not cancerous, praise God! It is growing and interfering with her organs.

Please pray for:

• Peace and strength for my wife
• Pray for the surgeon- that God will give him the wisdom and the right tools.
• Pray that ALL the mass will be able to be removed.
• Pray for quick healing (doctor expects 4 days of recovery).
• Pray for daddy as he will be watching and caring for the kids :)

Praise: "Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

Thank you for your prayers!

(I will be back to share great things God did with this surgery!)

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Humor: Rizzle for the Sizzle?

Translation: Jesus is the REASON for the SEASON

Courtesy of failblog.org

All I can say is, "Oh My Goodness!"

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"Overcoming Addictions" - Southern Hills Community Church

Pastor Mike shares, "No one ever says to themselves, 'My life is going so well that TODAY I'm going to start an addiction.' "

Listen to a true story about a man's addiction, shot gun and motel room.

Podcast
Stream
Download

If you would like to listen to other podcasts on the series, "Baggage", please visit this link: http://www.southernhillschurch.com/content.cfm?id=213

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Funny Humor for Friday VIII

"Just One of Those Days!"

"BULLETIN BLOOPERS AND BLUNDERS"
(A compilation of actual Church Bulletin and Service bloopers)

* Don't let worry kill you--let the church help.

* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.

* Weight Watchers will meet a 7 p.m. at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.

* Jean will be leading a weight-management series Wednesday nights. She's use the program herself and has been growing like crazy!

* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.

* Thursday night--Potluck supper. Prayer and medication to follow.

* The senior choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.

* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.

* The preacher will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth With Joy."

* The Rev. Adams spoke briefly, much to the delight of his audience.

* The eighth graders will be presenting Shakespeare's "Hamlet": in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.

* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.

* The associate minister unveiled the church's new giving campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped My Pledge--Up Yours."

My personal favorite:

* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.

If you would like to read all of them, then go to: http://www.angelfire.com/ca4/HumorHotline/bbloopers.html

Rumor has it, church seats are complaining about being cold and lonely. Respond to them by caressing one with your tush and show them you care. Church is this Sunday!

Have a great weekend!

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"And Now My Lifesong Sings" - Casting Crowns

"I once was lost, but now I’m found
I once was lost, but now I’m found
So far away, but I’m home now
I once was lost, but now I’m found
And now my lifesong sings

I once was blind, but now I see
I once was blind, but now I see
I don’t know how, but when He touched me
I once was blind, but now I see
And now my lifesong sings

And now my lifesong sings
And now my lifesong sings

I once was dead, but now I live
I once was dead, but now I live
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give
Now my life to You I give

Hallelujah
Hallelujah
Let my lifesong sing to You"
"And Now My Lifesong Sings" - Casting Crowns

Please take time to read John 9.
The true story about Jesus healing the blind man.
Take a look at the amazing response of this once blind man who has the ability to see. Also look at his response to the Pharisees.

What's blinding you? Allow Jesus to wash away all the problems, guilt and shame from your life. He wants you to find your way back home.

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A Father's Love for His Son

Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.
James 1:2-4 (NASB)




TEAM HOYT:
Dick Hoyt, DAD, age 65, retired Lieutenant Colonel of the Air National Guard.

Rick Hoyt, SON, age 47, has cerebral palsy and is non-speaking. Strong mind and graduate from Boston University.

In 1977, Rick "told his father he wanted to participate in a five-mile benefit run for a local lacrosse player who had been paralyzed in an accident. Dick, far from being a long-distance runner, agreed to push Rick in his wheelchair. They finished next to last, but they felt they had achieved a triumph. That night, Dick remembers, 'Rick told us he just didn’t feel handicapped when we were competing.' "

That's how their journey began.

For over 30 years, "Dick and Rick Hoyt are a father-and-son team from Massachusetts who together compete just about continuously in marathon races. And if they’re not in a marathon they are in a triathlon — that daunting, almost superhuman, combination of 26.2 miles of running, 112 miles of bicycling, and 2.4 miles of swimming. Together they have climbed mountains, and once trekked 3,735 miles across America."

Please visit and show support by going to Team Hoyt's website: http://www.teamhoyt.com/


Dick, who realizes his son is at his happiest and comes alive whenever they are competing, continues to push, pull and carry his son through hours of rigorous and exhaustive trials.

Why does he do this? Because of his love for his son- He enjoys the life and happiness it brings Rick- He wants to experience life with his son.

Your heavenly Father loves you deeply. He wants to carry you through your toughest trials. When you feel at your weakest, God wants to show you His power. Allow God to help you through your worst races in life. There is salvation waiting for you at the cross. God loves you so deeply that He gave up His only Son, Jesus Christ to die and take away all your sins, all your regrets, and eternal hell so that you can be with Him- eternally.

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. - John 15:13 (NIV)

God never intended for you to go through life alone. Jesus layed down His life for you and He's conquered all the dirt and filth in our life; all you need to do is invite Him in. Cry out to your Father. Let him know you need Him in your life. Don't wait another day- find victory through Jesus Christ!

Look at this incredible promise:
"Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us" Ephesians 3:20 (NIV)

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Black Belt VS. Christian

When I was about 8 years old, I used to love watching all those cheesy, low budget karate movies on television. You know the ones where the lips don't match the audio and the sound of a man being hit is about a second off from the sound effect. I have grown up watching Jackie Chan (Yes, I still watch his movies). His flying kicks, fast hands and acrobatic skills all wrapped up into his silly facial expressions has me following ol' Jackie after 20 some years.

I remember going outside in the woods to practice my blocks on tree limbs and kicking the trunks of trees. I dreamed of being the next karate legend. I used to think a ninja was sneaking up on me in the woods and I would have to fight him to the death. In reality it was a tree, but in my world, I had to protect my life (maybe I needed 'real' friends- ha!).

At age 16, I started training in the Martial Arts. Committing to many hours at the studio and many more hours at home. I had such a strong passion for it-- some would say an obsession. I continued on through my late teen years and all the way through until my late 20's. Then, life changed my course; marriage, kids, and busyness took over. My priorities and demands in life took me away from training in the Martial Arts.

I am now in my mid-30's and those who know me will say, "Don't mess with him, he trained in two different styles of Martial Arts!"

Here's the point that bothers me: "Am I still an expert Martial Artist if I haven't been training?" I haven't practiced my stances, blocks, punches, or kicks for at least 7 years now. Even though the instinct is still with me and the fundamentals are etched in my mind, I know that I am not as quick or as in shape, like in my 20's. If I were to enter a tournament today, looking the way I do, these guys would laugh at me.

Here's a further question I asked myself, "Is a Black Belt really a Black Belt if he hasn't been training diligently?"

Same thing goes with Christians: "Is a Christian really a Christian if he/she hasn't been training diligently?" You may have heard the statement, "I'm a non-practicing Catholic." -or- "I'm a Christian, but I only attend church on holidays."

I can expose the bare-naked truth that I am no longer a Martial Artist. I am someone who once trained in the Arts, but now I only possess the knowledge and memories of the things I used to achieve. What good are my hands and feet if I don't train them to be effective for the streets?

Christians, what good are your hands and feet if you aren't using them to effectively touch the lives of those on the streets? I'm not talking about Judo-flipping people randomly. I am talking about using your feet for God's mission. The Great Commission starts off with the commandment, "Go". In order to make a difference in the world, we must get on our feet and GO!

Look at how God sees your feet when you share Him with people, "... Just as it is written, "HOW BEAUTIFUL ARE THE FEET OF THOSE WHO BRING GOOD NEWS OF GOOD THINGS!" Romans 10:15 (NASB). See also: Isaiah 52:7

You either are a Black Belt or you're not; there is no in-between. Paraphrasing Mr. Miyagi, "You either say yes... or no. No middle. Squash like grape!" Then, Mr. Miyagi squeezes his thumb and index fingers together and says, "Squoooosh!" The same goes with our label as Christians. We either are or aren't. We either are following God's plans for our lives or we aren't... there's no in-between... no middle.

To be an effective Christian is much like the discipline of a Black Belt.

• You must learn the Way to Enlightenment (through God's word).
• Meditate daily (in prayer).
• You must use your knowledge and employ it (by serving God and others).
• Practice...practice... practice (sharpening the skills God has given you).

You want to be a Black Belt? Train like one.

You want to be a Christian? Train like He did.

The Bible is full of examples of how Jesus walked, talked, loved, and sacrificed for others.

IF YOU WANT TO BE A FOLLOWER OF CHRIST; A CHRISTIAN-

THEN, HIS MISSION NEEDS TO BECOME YOUR MISSION!

To be a Christian is to represent Him: "Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us; we beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God."

2 Corinthians 5:20 (NIV)

"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him." John 3:17 (NIV)

The Way to Enlightenment Revealed:

Jesus said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life; no one comes to the Father but through Me." John 14:6 (NASB)

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"Moses: Some Amazing Facts"

"Moses and the people were in the desert, but what was he going to do with them?

They had to be fed, and feeding 2 or 3 million people requires a lot of food.

According to the Quartermaster General in the Army, it is reported that Moses would have to have had 1500 tons of food each day. Do you know that to bring that much food each day, two freight trains, each at least a mile long, would be required!

Besides you must remember, they were out in the desert, so they would have to have firewood to use in cooking the food. This would take 4000 tons of wood and a few more freight trains, each a mile long, just for one day.

And just think, they were forty years in transit!

And Oh yes! They would have to have water. If they only had enough to drink and wash a few dishes, it would take 11,000,000 gallons each day and a freight train with tank cars, 1800 miles long, just to bring water!

And then another thing!

They had to get across the Red Sea at night. Now, if they went on a narrow path, double file, the line would be 800 miles long and would require 35 days and nights to get through. So there had to be a space in the Red Sea, 3 miles wide so that they could walk 5000 abreast to get over in one night.

But then, there is another problem...............each time they camped at the end of the day, a campground two-thirds the size of the state of Rhode Island was required, or a total of 750 square miles long........ think of it! This much space for camping.

Do you think Moses figured all this out before he left Egypt? I think not! You see, Moses believed in God. God took care of these things for him. Now do you think God has any problem taking care of all your needs?

I asked the Lord to bless you As I prayed for you today. To guide you and protect you as you go along your way.......... His love is always with you, His promises are true, And when we give Him all our cares, You know He will see us through." - anunseenworld.com
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You may be faced with overwhelming odds. If you put your trust in God, He will provide you with the resources you need to overcome your battle. You may not see the big picture and taking a leap into His care seems scary. God always knows your future. He is not here to harm you but to help you. Romans 8:28, says, "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose." (NIV)

Put all your fears - all your uncertainties on Him and He will take care of you. Through God's power we are made more than conquerors. Conquerors of our problems. Conquerors from addictions. Conquerors from all temptations that come across our paths. Nothing can separate us from God- NOTHING!
"No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:37-39 (NIV)

His love is always with you. His promises are firm. If you trust in Him today He will carry you through.

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Inbox Mayhem

Do you have Inbox Clutter?
Spam... I can't stand Spam! Yes, there is a program installed on my computer that is supposed to get rid of it, but I still get a ton of it. Okay, maybe not thousands, but 20-30 a day! Spam is nonsense clutter!

How about those chain e-mails? You know the ones that say you must pass this on to 10 others or your life will fall apart!

How about those 'Good luck' chain e-mails that say, "If you forward this to 5 people, you will have 1 year of good luck. If you send it 10 people, you will have 3 years of good luck... and if you send it to 20 people, you will receive a porche, a mansion and 1 million dollars out of thin air"???

Here's the one that bothers me the most. Maybe your friends or family have good intentions, but they send you that heart-felt Christian story about God or Jesus. They tell you if you aren't ashamed of your faith, then you NEED to send it out to 10 people. As if you are denying God if you don't. Trust me, I love talking to people about how Jesus changed my life and how He can give them hope. It is a HUGE turn-off to me when I am challenged by guilt to pass on an e-mail to others in order to show my love for God. That's nonsensical!

In this day and age, everything we do is "Instant"- response by a push of a button. I have learned to put margins in my "inbox" life. If there are e-mails that are not critical, I will wait 24-48 hours to respond. I will prioritize my responses by family, church and close friends. If the e-mails are valuable and need my response, I will get to them right away. If they are not, then I wait 24-48 hours to respond.

Here is fact: The quicker you respond, the more people will demand or hone in on your quick responses and expect it from you. Slow down! Just like responsibilities in the real world, we need to know how to prioritize who or what is important and get the job done... all other mayhem can wait.

Pause for a moment and escape the inbox mayhem. Here is food for your soul:
"My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; he is my fortress, I will never be shaken." Psalm 62:1-2 (NIV)

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